10.31.2011

Obi


A special contribution from reader Dylan in memory of...OBI. Eat your heart out Dr. Seuss! Happy Halloween!

"THE OBI"


On the Great Hill
Where the Grickle-Grass Grows
And the wind smells like a rotting chicken-bone when it blows
And no dogs pee, except limp old Roxie
Is the Rock of the Lifted Obi.

And deep in the Grickle-Grass, some people say,
If you still look deep enough you can still see today,
The place where the Obi once stood
Just as long as she could
Before somebody lifted the Obi away.

What WAS Ms. Obi?
And why was she there?
And why was she lifted and taken somewhere
From the far end of town where the grickle-grass grows?
The Old Once-Ler still lives here
Ask him!  He knows!

You wont see the Once-ler
Don’t knock on his Brownstone!
He stays in his Lerkim, watching 3-D TV in his home.
And he buys Brooks Brothers clothing online
He lurks alone in his Lerkim, cold under the roof
And wacks-off to midget transvestites and naked photos of Shia LeBeouf.

But, on special dank midnights on August the 1st
He peeks out of the shutters
And sometimes he speaks
And tells how the Obi was lifted away…
He will tell you, if you are willing to pay…

Way back in the days when the Great Hill was still nappy dirt 
Full of crappy from the ass of Old Man Burt
And the Pond smelled like scum
And there were tricks in the North Woods
And the songs of the "stop!  thief! birds" rang out in space
One morning I came to this glorious place

And then I saw the wide open fields! Walk miles with ease!
The un-gentrified fields!    No stink of NYPD to be smelt in the breeze!
I said aloud, "Yes Please!"
Miles of miles of un-gentrified fields in the rancid hot summer breeze!

And, in these fields I saw Bar-Ba-Looters. What a bunch of wild hoots! 
Frisking about in their Bar-Ba-Looter-Suits
As they played in the shade and compared their stolen fruits!

From the woody northy woods
Came the creepy holler 
Of the Hummer-bird a'hummin'
Like a bird hustlin' a dollar.

But the prime real estate!  Real Estate! 
Sweat cheap prime real estate!
All of my life I have been searching for such property to take!
The gorgeous original detail!  Proximity to the park!
The homes were tax abated, meant for minorities to own
Their homes were located in an empowerment zone!

I felt a great leaping
Of Joy in my heart
I called my real estate agent!
A man without any morals named Bart!

In no time at all, I bought a browntone...what a deal!  
Boy from these people cheap property was easy to steal! 
A new home! Where 3 families once lived, I evicted and lived alone. 

And with great skillful skill and with great speedy speed- oh! oh!
I took over a bodega and built Zany's Cafe, yo!
Irazed the 100 year old wall at St. John the Divine to build a fugly condo!

The second I finished, I heard a ga-zump!
I looked and saw something jump out of the stump!
Of the 100 year old wall I just raped for a cheap corporate ass-hump!  
There a snarling dog stand
Describe her.... that's hard!  I don't know if I can

She was shortish.  And oldish.
And brownish.  And mossy.
And she spoke with a voice that smelt like horse-shit and was bossy.

“Yo! Dickface,” she said with sawdusty ash
“I am the Obi. I speak for the trash.
 I speak for the Great Hill trash, for the trash has no tongue
 And I am asking you, sir, at the top of my lungs —
 Leave my neighborhood alone, fences in Central Park are a hex
 They keep out the bar-ba-looters,
 and stop the poor playing children from the projects.

Look Obi, there is no cause for alarm!
Ask this NYPD officer, he will agree!
That you do not count because you are poorer than me.
Everyone loves gentrification, you will see!
There will be a Harlem Restaurant Row, and say goodbye
To dogs like you running around Central Park free.

Obi said, “You fool!  No NYPD will come up here.
The bar-ba-looters and kids from the projects they fear.

But, the very next minute, I proved him wrong
A fat, lazy cop came running with alarm!
Sir, is this scum Obi bothering you, where is her leash?
I will give the Obi tickets costing $100 each.

A ticket for off-leash, a ticket for no tags,
A ticket for no paperwork, for being the daughter of a hag

I laughed at the Obi, “You poor stupid bitch!
You never can stop the approach of a rich white guy!”

“I repeat,” cried the Obi,
I speak for the trash!”

“I’m busy,” I told her,
“You’re whining is a pain in my ass.”

I whipped out my diamond studded iPhone and in no time of all
I called my brothers and aunts
And I said, “Listen here!  Here’s a wonderful chance
The whole Once-Ler Family will steal real estate with little cash advance!
Get over here fast! Take the road to North Nitch
Get off on 110th Street, sharp right west at South Stitch.”

And, in no time at all, we bought all the property
The condos, the coops, even the projects raped we!
We fenced off a garden where the bar-ba-looters play
And build a Children’s Glen were nobody goes to this day.
And the bar-ba-looters and kids from the projects had nowhere left to play
But the view from our property looks nice when we look out every tenth day.

And, where the hummer-birds used to hum, we built a playground,
Where little infants can run around.
And, we closed all the native shops and brought in chain stores!
Subway! Whole Foods! Starbucks forever more!
And, that disgusting Obi who ran without a leash?
What of her, I never saw her anymore.

But, then one day, she knocked on my gold-plated Brownstone door,
She snapped, “I am the Obi, I speak for the trash
Which you have cleaned up, for you the garbagemen work fast.

And then I got mad
I got terribly mad
I yelled at the Obi, “Where is your leash dad!
All you do is yap-yap- and say bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!
Well, I have my rights, dog, and I am telling you
I intend on doing just what I do!
And for your information Obi, I intend on gentrifying more
Pregnant ladies, and young mothers is what this ‘hood has in store!

Just then a woman with a baby carriage said to a poor project neighborhood boy
Get out of my way, I have to get to Bloomingday’s to buy my infant a toy.

And, the Obi said nothing.  She just gave me a glance…
Just gave me a very sad, sad backwards glance…
And she lifted herself by the seat of her pants.
And I will never forget the grim look on her face
When she heisted herself and took leave of this place,
Through a hole in the smug, without leaving a trace.

And all that the Obi left in her place
Was condos without character,
People turning her trash into Upper Eastside Place

But, on a rock on the Great Hill is a rock that says Obi
If we stop the gentrification, and the smell of the NYPD disappears
Maybe just maybe
Good times for all can return. 

“But now,” says the Once-ler
“Now that you’re here,”
The word of the Obi seems perfectly clear.
Unless someone like you
Cares a whole awful lot,
Nothing is going to get better.
It's not.

10.28.2011

Seamus

Seamus the Goldendoodle (also known as Shameless, Lameass and See-Moose) is well known in his Harlem neighborhood because of his head-to-tail mohawk. He had his 15 minutes of fame in 2010 when he was featured on Animal Planet on "Your Pet Wants This." 


He resides happily with an opera diva and an evil fluffy feline named The Deev. Seamus is deathly afraid of The Deev except when his Bestie Bitch Fred comes to visit. Then he chases the cat to please Fred and makes The Deev very, very angry.

seamus & fred 2010
His favorite things include frisbees, balls, stuffed squeaky toys, dish towels, mud, snowy fields, illicitly obtained roast beef, and, of course, anything that involves making Fred a happy girlfriend. 




Seamus finds any type of classical music incredibly boring and when his owner rehearses her arias at full volume, you will find him snoring under the piano.

He is 85 pounds of hairy happiness, and is one of the few dogs that has no human attributes whatsoever. Seamus is just...dog.

**owned by Lauren**

10.27.2011

Klondike

Klondike is a rescue from the streets of New York City, and engaged in various criminal activities prior to his rehabilitation as a house pet. He was a bouncer for houses of ill repute during the day, and at night put on his super hero costume to steal from the rich to give to the poor (or himself). In the meantime, he liked to bully forest and city critters for fun, before turning into a productive tax paying canine citizen. 


He does tend to fall back on his old habits when given the opportunity, and is notorious for mugging unsuspecting tourists for their breakfasts on the Great Hill over the years. His favorite M.O. is to sneak up behind them and snatch their bagels or baguettes (sometimes still in the paper bag). He then runs joyously across the grass while wolfing down his illegally obtained goodies.


He likes to say "I love you" and variations of "whooo whooo waaaaooo". What it means, only his owner knows, but she does a great job of translating his Malamute haikus. As a retiree, he vacations frequently in upstate New York, drives a Subaru WRX way past the legal speed limit and enjoys the occasional belly rub.


**owned by Mary Beth**

10.26.2011

Caleb

My name is Caleb and I'm a 3 year old shepherd/hound mix. My humble beginnings were on the hardscrabble streets of Quito, Ecuador. I was alone and hungry until the amazing Doctor Del Pup found me and took me to her shelter. She got me off the streets and found homes for me and the other dogs she saved. She sponsored me and got me a ticket to America. I was a skinny, scrawny pup until I found my forever home with the bestest Momma ever!


Now I live on the Upper West Side where I go out everyday with my posse in the Riverside Park dog run. On the weekends, I go to Central Park with Mom so I can hang out with my Bestie Bitch Fred and her brother Goofy. I go on lots of vacations with my mom and never have to ride in cargo again!


**owned by Shere**

10.25.2011

Aspen

Aspen is an 11-month-old Siberian Husky who is often mistaken by foolish Harlem-dwellers for a wolf, fox, coyote or (ready for this?) werewolf. (yes, really.) She's extremely well-behaved and a total couch potato inside the house, but once off-leash time rolls around, her mischevious streak pops up. She loves nothing more than to snatch up great mouthfuls of grass under her disapproving owner's nose and sheepishly returns to face the inevitable post grass-eating time out... once she's swallowed down her "treat"!


Despite her impish tendencies, she's friendly, charming, and well-renowned for her talkative, howling ways & never forgets a person once she's met them, if even only one time. She's always a huge hit at the nursing home where her owner's grandmother lives and will be starting therapy dog training soon. Aspen is likely more well-traveled than some people; she was born in Missouri before relocating with her mother and littermates to Western Pennsylvania. From there she arrived in NYC in January 2011 after a complicated relay road trip with stops in Buffalo and Elmira. Her favorite pasttimes include playdates with her doggy friends & their 20-something owners and doing tricks in hopes that something edible will come her way.

**owned by Nzhinga**

10.24.2011

Pierre


This is the story of Pierre Elliot Trudeau, no… not the former Canadian Prime Minister but the equally adored Saint Bernard Mix who is the talk of Columbus Avenue. Known by his closest buddies as PJ, Peejmeister and Lil’ P, his always sunny and social personality often rub off on everyone around him.


Originally rescued from Virginia, he was brought to New York where North Shore Animal Shelter gave him a temporary home. He was featured at an adoption event at the Union Square Petco one Sunday afternoon; it remains unclear if it was his crimped afro or his lovable smile but his owners instantly fell in love and gave him a new home.


Pierre is often seen strolling the Upper West Side howling at fire trucks, chasing squirrels, eating rocks, and socializing in Central Park. He enjoys all the neighborhoods best restaurants while people watching and meeting new friends on the patios. Pierre’s vacation time consists of taking road trips to the beach
and jumping the ocean waves, then digging his nose in the sand! At home, Pierre insists on shaking your hand and giving a lick immediately upon arriving home and is crazy about his high-fives! Like every puppy he has his mischievous moments, but his adorable smile and one-eyed wink usually ensure quick forgiveness, and a whole lot of treats.


**owned by Rahul and Milica**

10.23.2011

Aza

Aza first set her wild golden eyes on her person on a street called HaShalom. "Dog!" said person (thank you New York preschools.) "Mama?" replied Aza and happily followed her person home. From milk teeth, floppy ears and dopy legs came old world fangs, proud pharaonic ears and long statuesque legs. She looks as if she stepped out of an Egyptian temple and into that Negev Desert, which gave her her sandy colors, disdain for being wet, love for rolling in rotting sheep skins and innards, and taste for sun-dried stray-cat cacas ("It's like tootsie rolls, Ma.") She has a racing stripe that doubles as a mohawk and isn't afraid to use it if you go near her lady donut parts. She is highly intelligent and agile - she can jump 4 feet high from standing and can take out a pigeon midair and hide the body in a flower pot without any evidence. She is working on overcoming her fear of the MTA, oceans and Korean ladies with Furminators. Aza loves sunbathing, belly rubs, cats, men, running, and pouncing after animals with fluffy tails. When chasing furry woodland creatures, she often looks like a deer, thus Aza's name, a modified form of the Arabic word for gazelle, ghazal. 'Aza' is also the Hebrew word used in the phrase "love is stronger than death." Indeed, she is full of love and sincerity. She recently immigrated with her person to NYC via Switzerland.

Breed: Pharaoh Hound mix (not a dingo)
BFF: Helix the hyena pitt hound
Secret Crush: Sam for his dreamy black fluffy tail
One wish: World peace
Alternate wish: a kitty to call her very own



**owned by Vina**

10.22.2011

Bear

Bear has the sturdy grace, intelligence, intense loyalty and drive to please for which German Shepherds are justly celebrated. But in other ways he is endearingly different from the breed with which he shares more than a few genes. He's not so serious; he smiles. He’s confident but not imperious.  At his water bowl, he drinks sloppy. He’ll roll over on his back and shamelessly angle for a pet. At age six, he loves stuffed toys as much as any puppy.

The early hand Bear was dealt in life was not a lucky one. Relief from the neglect and abuse came on a bitter cold February day in 2007 in upstate New York, when authorities rescued him and took him to the Sullivan County SPCA.  Adopted a few days later, everything in his life changed, except his name.  Now, he loves playing with his friends, walking in the park, riding in the convertible, swimming in the lake, taming the sprinkler, bounding through the snow, chasing a deer, resting idly on the couch.

And asked if his nose make his ass look fat, Bear replied, “Look, I'm an alpha male. Let’s just say I don’t hear many complaints from the bitches."



**owned by Jeff**

10.21.2011

Roxie

As we all know, Roxie Doo Bouvier McCaffery Braverman is the greatest living creature of our generation.  Most even question her mortality, and billions the world over worship her immortal beauty, grace and wisdom. We all know of her legendary romances with Elvis, John Lennon and Marlyn Monroe.  Every school boy and girl can recount how she single-pawedly defeated Hitler, tore down the Berlin Wall and destroyed the Death Star.  Her contribution to the sciences is unparalleled, she has won over 1,000,000,000 olympic gold metals, her face is on coins in every country in the world and her smile cures cancer.  

Yes, she is now celebrated the world over by Christians as the Second Coming of Jesus, by Muslims as the Mighty White Sheik and by Hindus as the Great 65-armed, 55-head, 25-tailed Goddess. But, Roxie came from humble beginnings.  She was born Roxie Lee Bouvier in Southampton, New York, to Wall Street stock broker John Vernou Bouvier III (also known as "Black Jack Bouvier") and Janet Norton Lee. The Bouviers divorced in 1940 with Janet Bouvier later marrying Standard Oil heir Hugh D. Auchincloss, Jr. in 1942. 

When she was a teenager, she met Robert LeRoy Parker, better known as Butch Cassidy, and moved with him and his Wild Bunch Gange to Hole in the Wall, Wyoming.   After pursuing a career in crime for several years in the United States, the pressures of being pursued, notably by the Pinkerton Detective Agency, forced the couple to flee with an accomplice, Harry Alonzo Longabaugh, known as the Sundance Kid.  They first fled to Argentina and then to Bolivia, where she invented Tacos, Salsa, the Tango, the Forbidden Dance, the Macarana and rainbows.

Bored with this romance, she turned her focus to military conquest.  Because at the time West Point did not admit African Americans, females or dogs as cadets, she joined the Army under the pseudonymous name, George Smith Patton.  After achieving the rank of General, she personally chased Adolf Hitler down. Upon capturing him, she gave him such a big wedgie that his testicles remain permanently lodged in his throat.  

After her defeat of the Nazis, the French asked her to serve as their eternal empress.  But, she soon turned her attention back to the United States. Upon her return, she was aghast at the racial discrimination she saw.  Despite having white fur, Roxie is in fact an African American dog.  She turned her gorgeous other cheek to violence, and instead adopted the teachings of Mahatma Gandhi.   This culminated in a 1963 march on Washington, D.C. where she delivered her famous "I Have A Dream" speech.

Having single handedly united the races, Roxie proceeded to be the first dog on the moon, invented a Time Machine after dreaming about a mysterious "flux capacitor" and now resides in Harlem with her lifemate Dylan Braverman.

10.20.2011

Sam

Samson "Sam" the Dog is a purebred Black Fluffy Mutt. In Sept 2004, when he was about 1-year-old, Sam adopted his parents Sherri and Brett from New Yorkers for Companion Animals (www.nyca.net), for which they are forever grateful. Sam is a gentleman and a lover, and he shows his particular fondness for Jen by licking his chops every time he sees her. Sam also loves squirrels and turtles, and despite his gentle soul he won't hesitate to bare his teeth in defense of a favorite Cuz or gorilla toy.


**owned by Sherri and Brett**

10.19.2011

Bebop

Bebop is from a rare New York City breed: the Jazzhound. Although he was rescued in East Harlem, Bebop is an Upper West Side dog living near Duke Ellington Blvd. Bebop loves all types of music, but like his legendary drumming owner, he's a cool cat when it comes to jazz. He happily shares his apartment with a full drum kit, and sits on his owner's lap while he rehearses. Bebop loves crashing cymbals, booming bass drum, women and the occasional table scraps. He hates all squirrels, and wouldn't mind having a pet cat.


**owned by Barry**

10.18.2011

Ginger

Ginger, aka G-dog, Gingerbread, Gingerama, Gingerpalooza, or just plain “G”, is a 2-year old pit bull/shepherd mix who met her forever family at an Adopt-a-thon in Washington Square Park.  Her people fell in love with her soulful, intelligent eyes and disproportionately large ears. We think she receives intergalactic messages through them, some would say “she hears dead people.” Ginger is an exuberant student of life -- an energetic playmate of dogs, children and grow-ups alike, an avid tennis ball chaser/chewer, a steadfast guard dog, an intrepid explorer (especially if there is food involved) and a sweet and tolerant sibling of Lady MacDuff, the cat.  She is also an escape artist – she can open the front door and leave the apartment.  Ginger likes long walks, meeting new people and dogs, roughhousing, chasing birds and squirrels, guarding her family members, especially when they sit on the toilet, and anything with peanut butter on it or in it.  Ginger dislikes neighbors who do laundry early in the morning, motorcycles, bathing and water in general, being cooped up indoors, and anyone who does not shower her with attention.


**owned by Anna and Mark**

10.17.2011

Lulu

Lulu Belle Esmerelda is a 6 year old cocker spaniel. 


Her favorite activities: flirting with the 'boys', chasing squirrels, obsessing over tennis balls, hanging out under the bed, being a nervous nilly, snuggling.


She hearts: travelling with 'mom', Central Park before 9 & after 9, baby carrots, frozen peas, apple slices, cow knee caps, bones to chew on, any random wadded up piece of napkin or white paper.


**owned by Suzie**

10.16.2011

Milo

Milo is a Chorkie (Yorkie and Chihuahua mix). He was given to his owner when he was 1 1/2 years old by a family who could not have pets in their new condo. He is now almost 4, but everyone who looks at him, especially kids & tourists, refer to him as "Look at the puppy". Milo's favorite hobby is trying to hump other male dogs regardless of size, but the way his owner see it, Milo was born to be on top.


**owned by Joe**

10.15.2011

Belle

Belle, formally known as Bluebelle, is six years old and hails from the New Haven, CT area. Her mother, Snap, holds many medals in obedience trials; Belle has not taken up this family activity as of yet. Belle began life in New York as a companion to Brunhilde, an 11-year old Airedale known for her curmudgeonly ways. Perhaps because of this, Belle is especially drawn to senior canines and is a cheerful, always up sort of girl. In fact, Belle likes everyone and everything except ceiling fans, vacuum cleaners, luggage carts, hoses (both water and air) and leaf blowers. She holds a special animosity towards manual lawnmowers. Belle collects Beanie Babies - her favorite one is the Puffin - and she has a feline's fascination with laser pointers. Belle loves swimming, especially when she can try and catch pebbles thrown out onto the water. Her favorite meal (after meat) is pizza crust. 


**owned by Francine, Fernando and Harry**

10.14.2011

Fitz

Fitz is a 3-year old Red Heeler and Lab mix originally from Arizona. He is named after the great Larry Fitzgerald from the Arizona Cardinals and loves to go the park to play with other dogs and often his favorite ball. Fitz spends his free time sleeping, trying to chase squirrels in Central Park, or watching football with his owners.


**owned by Brad**

10.13.2011

Lucy

Lucy is a crazy red-headed mutt who loves to run wild on the Great Hill.  Her favorite activities involve wrestling with her friends, digging for worms, and jumping on unsuspecting humans who are already dressed for work.  It's a good thing that Lucy has a ridiculously soft coat and adorable smile or else her owners might not forgive her so easily for being such a crazy girl!


**owned by Kelly and Eliseo**

10.12.2011

Zoey


Zoey Maria was found living in a pizza box after Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans and was taken home only to find that she had fleas, worms and a passion for destruction. At 4 months old she annihilated an entire couch in one day, right down to the staples. But, she was loveable anyways.

Zoey’s internal monologue is set to the voice of Rosie Perez. She is a world traveler, an aggressive cuddler, a fierce insect hunter and hater of cats and nail cutting. Her best friend is a rubber lady bug that she carried home from the park, she loves to eat things off the street and when she’s feeling particularly wily, she’ll kick up her leg and pee like a boy. If you need a laugh, give her a stack of pillows and watch her arrange them into a bed or stare at the white patch on her chest until it starts to resemble a flattened squirrel.

**owned by Laurén**

10.11.2011

Guy

If the art of moping can truly be perfected, then this is Guy's life's work.  His devotion to this task is so thorough that no amount of scratches or treats can distract him for very long.  His attempts to project his own constant, all-consuming existential dread are hampered slightly by an incurable case of Disgustingly Cute Face Syndrome, which causes absolutely no one to take him seriously for long.  


**owned by Stella**

10.10.2011

Lupe

At just 10 1/2 weeks, Guadalupe "Lupe" rescued her first human, Blake, from the CACC (Center for Animal Care & Control) in East Harlem.  She continued her human rights efforts in the aftermath of September 11th, delivering supplies to the triage center at Chelsea Piers and comforting the friends and family members who lost loved ones from her stoop across from the 26th Street Armory.  After a long layover in Texas (to allow her rabies anti-virus test to develop) she joined her human in Australia, where she did a stint in quarantine, then got out in time to be in Blake's wedding as the ring-bearing-flower dog.  She is the only canine who received special permission from the City of Sydney to be allowed in the Sydney Botanical Gardens for the ceremony.  Alas, the marriage didn't take, and Lupe is now an ex-dog...However, she remains close to her former human and occasionally Skypes him...She repatriated along with her original human, Blake--first to Texas, then to Los Angeles.  Lupe has now returned to the beloved streets of NYC from which she came!

Lupe has participated in numerous peace marches and AIDS Walks, has ridden shotgun on many road trips, and has friends throughout the world.  She has supported her human during a terrorist attack, immigration, marriage, divorce, at least 4 earthquakes (including the one in NYC) and, more recently, a hurricane.  

At age 13, she encourages younger pups to "Look beyond people's bad behavior and into the eyes of each and every human being.  You will see a soul in need of rescue!"...

**owned by Blake**

10.09.2011

Bubba


Bubba is an 11 year old, 145 pound Leonberger.  After starring in 'Show and Tell' in his girls' preschool classes he has continued on in a demanding and  successful career of protecting his  two girls, now 10 and 12 years old.  His favorite past time is shedding. Fans can still see Bubba on the Great Hill from time to time.  He keeps a low profile and autograph seekers are discouraged.


**owned by Laurie**

10.08.2011

Lucy Lou

Lucy Lou was rescued from a parking lot in Brooklyn by a couple of very caring Hispanic ladies.  Her first language was Spanish and she still responds to commands (my mom's neighbor tested her on this).  They placed her with a school teacher on the Upper Westside.  She was mortal enemies with Gracie (renowned for the one ear up one ear down look).  But  after Gracie died and Lucy Lou's mommy decided to get married and move to the Galapagos, it just made sense that she move in and take over for Gracie.  Thus she is the ruler of 101st Street (and she now is mortal enemies with all dogs who move into her building without her permission).  She holds title to the northwest corner of Central Park but allows dogs and humans and raccoons and squirrels, etc. to share as long as they show proper respect to the Park.


**owned by Valerie**

10.07.2011

Porter

Porter Weizen Doppelbock is a Border Collie/German Shepherd/shelter mystery from Bloomington, Indiana. After kicking his country boy habits and adjusting to his itty bitty living space, he learned to love NY and can often be found strutting around Harlem sporting his NY Mets or Baltimore Ravens collars. Porter enjoys jumping on his favorite people, chewing on mulch, leaping through snow mounds and acting tragic. His dislikes include furniture, eating before his four cats inspect his food, and turnips. Porter aspires to be a peanut-butter taste tester or shag carpet inspector when he grows up. 


**owned by Jackie and Ian**

LT


LT (short for Lawrence Taylor) is a 3 year old American Staffordshire Terrier. His owner found him on Craigslist where he had been rescued from a shelter and was being fostered by an owner of a tiny dog.  Since LT's owner was already a tiny dog owner looking he knew LT would be a great fit.  LT is a giant cuddly dog and will contort his body in whatever way possible just to rest his head on you. As indicated by his name, he spends his Sunday's watching NY Giants games with his owner, and always wears his NY Giants collar to show his pride.

**owned by Chris**

Stral


Stral was rescued from a North Carolina kill shelter and had a lame leg which required two serious operations. 

He is a sweet and energetic dog that loves people and all other dogs (especially Cleo the Bulldog). He especially loves anything remotely edible.

**owned by Jen and Pete**

Lucy

Lucy is a 5 month old Golden Retriever. Her nickname is Lucygoose!

**owned by Patti**

Stella

Stella is a 4 month old Australian Labradoodle. She loves playing with other puppies, eating whipped cream and chewing on shoes. When she grows up, she wants to be a therapy dog.  **owned by Alex and Alanna**

10.04.2011

Fred


Fred is a beagle/whippet/lab rescue from Hurricane Gustav in Mississippi. Don't let her name fool you, she's a girl. We got her as a puppy and she's been a holy terror ever since.  Her favorite dieting technique is eating grass and then throwing it up in the middle of the night, this is how she keeps her girlish figure.  When Fred isn't in the emergency room for fatal ingestion she can often be seen running around the NYC's Great Hill in Central Park.  Her favorite past times are running,begging for treats, eating and rolling in poop and stepping on her parents sensitive parts amongst others. She likes to cuddle on her own terms but will gladly roll over on her back for a belly rub. She is a member of D.A.G. (Dog Actors Guild.)  You may have seen her on NatGeoWild's "My Dog Ate What", 20/20 and Animal Planet.


**owned by Jen and Luke **

Zeki

Zeki is a 16-month old Sheltie, who enjoys chewing, herding, and mouthing-off to other dogs. He has a three-legged cat at home that he particularly enjoys chewing on, when there aren't any clothes lying about. He can be identified by his long flowing locks and obnoxious bark. Accordingly,he is forced to operates under the alias Suzy or Jacky when some one has a difficult time recognizing his masculine features. Other than that, he's a pretty chill dog.
**owned by Geri**


10.03.2011

Goofy


Goofy was adopted at the North Shore Animal League and it was mutual love at first sight. He's a Hurricane Katrina rescue, and is half basset hound and half black lab. He has short little stubby basset legs, big basset feet, with a black lab head, tail and body.  Goofy enjoys chasing sprinklers and hoses.  It's more of an obsession than enjoyment.  When not doing this, he can often be found eating dirt or siting on a rock contemplating life.  Like his little sister Fred,  He's been on NatGeoWild, Animal Planet, 20/20 and Dr. Oz.

**owned by Jen & Luke**