As we all know, Roxie Doo Bouvier McCaffery Braverman is the greatest living creature of our generation.  Most even question her mortality, and billions the world over worship her immortal beauty, grace and wisdom. We all know of her legendary romances with Elvis, John Lennon and Marlyn Monroe.  Every school boy and girl can recount how she single-pawedly defeated Hitler, tore down the Berlin Wall and destroyed the Death Star.  Her contribution to the sciences is unparalleled, she has won over 1,000,000,000 olympic gold metals, her face is on coins in every country in the world and her smile cures cancer.  

Yes, she is now celebrated the world over by Christians as the Second Coming of Jesus, by Muslims as the Mighty White Sheik and by Hindus as the Great 65-armed, 55-head, 25-tailed Goddess. But, Roxie came from humble beginnings.  She was born Roxie Lee Bouvier in Southampton, New York, to Wall Street stock broker John Vernou Bouvier III (also known as "Black Jack Bouvier") and Janet Norton Lee. The Bouviers divorced in 1940 with Janet Bouvier later marrying Standard Oil heir Hugh D. Auchincloss, Jr. in 1942. 

When she was a teenager, she met Robert LeRoy Parker, better known as Butch Cassidy, and moved with him and his Wild Bunch Gange to Hole in the Wall, Wyoming.   After pursuing a career in crime for several years in the United States, the pressures of being pursued, notably by the Pinkerton Detective Agency, forced the couple to flee with an accomplice, Harry Alonzo Longabaugh, known as the Sundance Kid.  They first fled to Argentina and then to Bolivia, where she invented Tacos, Salsa, the Tango, the Forbidden Dance, the Macarana and rainbows.

Bored with this romance, she turned her focus to military conquest.  Because at the time West Point did not admit African Americans, females or dogs as cadets, she joined the Army under the pseudonymous name, George Smith Patton.  After achieving the rank of General, she personally chased Adolf Hitler down. Upon capturing him, she gave him such a big wedgie that his testicles remain permanently lodged in his throat.  

After her defeat of the Nazis, the French asked her to serve as their eternal empress.  But, she soon turned her attention back to the United States. Upon her return, she was aghast at the racial discrimination she saw.  Despite having white fur, Roxie is in fact an African American dog.  She turned her gorgeous other cheek to violence, and instead adopted the teachings of Mahatma Gandhi.   This culminated in a 1963 march on Washington, D.C. where she delivered her famous "I Have A Dream" speech.

Having single handedly united the races, Roxie proceeded to be the first dog on the moon, invented a Time Machine after dreaming about a mysterious "flux capacitor" and now resides in Harlem with her lifemate Dylan Braverman.